Ruh Roh. The big Four-OH.

Yup.  40.  Today.

And I swear I don’t look a day over 38.  Or, possibly, 39.

Seriously, I don’t feel my age.  Remember being a kid or a teenager and thinking that anyone older than 25 was ancient? Funny how perspective changes things. They say 40 is the new 30.  Who “they” are I don’t know, but I love them already.

At 40 I’m doing things that I would never have dreamed about at 25.  At that time in my life, the idea of running even a 5k was well beyond me.  Hell, I didn’t even really know that people did that kind of thing for FUN.  Now?  I could roll out of bed and pound out a half marathon.  Even have a few marathons under my belt (though – they admittedly weren’t pretty!).

And triathlons? Yup, another thing that I didn’t even know existed.  And anyway, why would someone voluntarily swim in waters deeper than you could stand up in?  And without a floaty thing to lay on?  And no cold drink? Unthinkable.  And now?  Two half ironmans completed.  And I’m registered to do a full ironman triathlon this fall (*gulp*).

Probably the biggest life changer though?  The realization at 40 (or, I suppose, a little bit before now) that it might be more important to be true to myself than to have an easy life as a straight (but not really happy) girl.

It hasn’t been easy… and, admittedly, it’s not as though I’ve flung myself into the lifestyle full bore or anything, but at least I admitted to myself that I wasn’t satisfied with my life and needed to make a change.  It took me such a long time to even get there, that I kind of reveled in the initial coming out.  I’ve never been the type to rock the boat, so that was a big step for me.

And now that I’m 40, I’ve got this new, exciting life in front of me.  I’ve been tentative about diving in, wondering if the water’s warm enough, but it’s time. Life can’t be the way it’s always been – like saying goes, do what you always did, get what you always got – and I’m determined to do things differently and seek out the happiness that I deserve.

Happy Birthday to me, right?


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