Like a lot of folks, I have populated my Google Reader with a ton of blogs that I love to keep up with. Since I discovered the joys of RSS (it took me WAY TOO LONG to figure this out), I rarely miss a blog posting.
One of the places I lurk is The Art of Non-Conformity where Chris Guillebeau says all sorts of neat, insightful stuff. Recently, his blog post, An Interview with Yourself, was especially spot-on for me, since I had just passed that oh-my-god-I’m-40 milestone.
Chris puts forth the idea of having an interview with yourself, finding out where you’ve been, where you’re headed. He says to start out the dialog with this:
Dear self, you are x years old. What do you have to show for it? Are you living the dream?
So, self. You’re 40. And what the hell have you done with your life?
That’s a loaded question if I ever heard one. But, worthwhile. It’s hard to know where to head if you don’t know where you’ve come from and what you’ve done to get right here, right now.
So, what do I have to show for it? A group of friends that make it impossible to pretend like I’m going through any of life’s adventures alone. A family that has accepted me being gay and are allowing me to be the person I need to be to find happiness. All the creature comforts that a person needs, from a roof over my head (with a mortgage I can afford) to toys (my kind of toys – bikes, running shoes, training gadgets) to a car that’s (knock on wood!) reliable to the good health to enjoy it all. Really, there isn’t much that I want for.
Also – this new being out thing… that right there, that’s my thing to show for my 40 years. Some people, it takes so much less time. For me? It was a marination process, where time and experience and a final dash of “who the hell cares what they think” were necessary before anything was born. This was my 40-years-in-the-making moment, when I decided that I needed to be myself, world be damned.
Am I living the dream? Not yet. But now I can at least tell the people in my life what the dream is. And actually, it’s still more of a dream-let rather than a full-fledged dream. More, the next step for me: a real, actual relationship. I’ve been doing the dating thing (okay, the first date, maybe a second date and nothing more thing), but haven’t really found the right person yet. It’d be fun to do more than kick the wheels on this whole being gay thing. Just sayin’.
Anyway – go and click the link up there to the actual article. More great questions await you. You deserve to give some time and undivided attention to it. It’s your life, right?