Happy Friday #8: Glimmer of a new future?

(on Fridays around these parts, I take a little time to make sure that all the happy things happening in my life get a shout out)

My weekend escape to the Smoky Mountains was in response to feeling not quite satisfied with my life.  A lingering sense of discontent made me run to a place where I knew I’d find some peace and quiet and things that I love.

And that’s exactly the peace and sense of self that I found for the weekend.

But just for the weekend.

I came back with the beginnings of a call to action:  taking some scary steps to make my life what I want it to be instead of what it currently is.

See, the thing is that I don’t hate my job.  I’m pretty competent at it, make a nice salary and get some sort of satisfaction in that.  And I work with some pretty awesome people.  In my little corner of the company (where I’ve been now for just about 15 years), there are few politics and a truly positive and encouraging environment.  A place where my boss will routinely not only praise me for a job well done, but make sure that the owner of the company (it’s a small, private company) knows that we’re doing a great job as well.  In corporate America, it doesn’t get better than this.

But – while I don’t dread going to work, I know that this isn’t my calling.  It never has been.  The job is challenging from time to time, but often I feel like I’m doing more personal work (hmmm… does writing this post count as “personal work”?) than what they pay me to do.  Almost like I’m sabotaging myself, daring my boss to realize that I’m not all that productive and fire my ass out of here.

And so I’ve started thinking about quitting.  Or maybe broaching the idea of a 3-month sabbatical (something absolutely unheard of here).  Just some time off.  I’ve been so practical all my life that I’ve got enough money saved up to last me a few years, even, if I’m careful.  And the thought of not working? Makes me smile.

And shouldn’t life make you smile?

So, the good thing this week?  The glimmer of hope that the courage I would need to remove the golden handcuffs that my job represents is within me. That I’d be able to make this bold, risky move not knowing what the future holds, but only knowing that I think it’s a path I might want to pursue.


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