Blue Year’s Eve…

Of all of them, this is probably my most un-favorite holiday.

It seems like it’s been years since I’ve had someone to celebrate with.  Back in the day, I used to host the NYE party so that I’d be assured of being around friends and family when the clock struck midnight.  But, times change, friends get married and have their own families, and with everyone going in different directions, I find myself alone, yet again, on New Year’s Eve.

I will likely spend the night as I have for the past few years:  stay home, make something incredible for dinner, find an NCIS marathon (or other suitable show) on TV, drink heavily and take some (legal!) drugs with the intent of being unconscious by 10pm and yet still able to get up the next morning.

Sounds like a blast, no?

Yes, there are friend’s houses I could go to … but again, I would be the only singleton there.  And yes, I know — I need to get over myself.

Also, I do realize that there are singles parties in the city that I could go to, but the thought of driving up there, not drinking (because I have to go home to take care of the dog), and then hauling my tired butt back home?  I’m sighing tiredly and dramatically just thinking about it.  And plus, my fear is that instead of being actually alone, that I’d be metaphorically alone in this crowd of revelers.  Wouldn’t that be awesome, right?

Usually, I’m okay with my single status.  It’s just how things are right now.  But NYE brings out all the couples, all the parties, all the get togethers where my single presence is made awkward as I stand around trying to look completely drawn in by the clock on the wall or the TV blaring party music, while all my friends hug and kiss in the new year with each other.  It’s like life’s slapping me in the face, just in case I didn’t already realize that I’m alone.

And frankly?  I don’t enjoy being bitch-slapped by life.

I’ll get over it … every year I manage to, at least.  I’ll spend the sober-ish part of the night working on my resolutions for the new year (I’m big into that), and there’s a small part of me that enjoys not having to deal with all the people and crazies and drunks out there.  I’ll lie to myself and tell myself that I’m better off just staying home, that I can go out and have fun with my friends on any night when things are closer to sane.

So don’t worry about me; I know I sound a little down and pathetic, but I assure you that the coming of January 1st always does good things for me:  a new year, a fresh start and done with the holidays!  Yay!

And hey – if you’re in town and looking for a fun time, stop by!  The food will be great and I’m sure the dog will appreciate better company than just me.

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