Where, oh where …

… are the single ladies my age?

At the clubs?  Not really, as far as I can tell.  Whenever I walk into a lot of these bars and clubs, I feel like an elder states(wo)man without the experience to have earned the title.

I mean, it’s not like any of the young kids are auditioning for a role in the Mean Girls 2 movie, but I can see their eyes pass over me — really, almost directly through me — with a “who’s the old woman in the muumuu?” look on their face.   Followed closely by “and why’s that young hot chick hanging out with her” since I’m blessed/cursed with a few young, hot lesbian friends (all a decade younger than me… I still haven’t figured out why they continue to keep me around… other than they look ESPECIALLY hot when put next to me).

(okay, I don’t really wear (or own) a muumuu … so much so that I even had to look up the spelling of “muumuu” (doesn’t it look funny?))

All of which to say:  the clubs aren’t really where it’s happening for me.  I enjoy occasionally going out and shakin’ the ol’ booty, but I’m not really meeting anyone to go home with out at those places.

Next up:  online.  Except online? The age range there seems to be early 20’s looking for a hookup and a decade older than me having just gotten out of a 30 year relationship and looking to start over.  I’ve gone on dates with both ends of the spectrum, and while I don’t discount someone based on age, I will say that it’s hard to find things in common with someone who’s that much younger or older.

You’ve got the girls who were barely out of diapers when Friends was the big show on TV (and sue me – despite all the homophobic references on that show, it’s my all-time, watch-the-marathon favorite show ever). Rarely will they know any cultural references I make, so at lot of my jokes go right over their head.  And my sense of humor is one of my best attributes!  This just makes me feel even older than my 42 years.  I’m always on the verge of starting sentences with “Kids these days….” which isn’t the best way to snag a second date, by the way.

Then the fine older ladies?  Somehow, they also make me feel old.  Even though I’ve definitely fallen off the working out bandwagon, I want to be with someone active and athletic — I know that to really be happy, I’m moving and sweating and working hard (and not just horizontally! get your mind out of the gutter!…but yea, that too…).  Of course, there are women in their 50’s that are still active (I intend on being one of them some day), but I haven’t met them.

So, what next?

I know, I know:  I need to join some LBGT groups.  Or do the meetups.com stuff.  I’m working my way up to that, promise.  Though I still don’t get how it is that unlike every other person I know, that I’m unable to meet someone to date out in the wild.  You know, like a chance meeting at the gym or the grocery store or the book store or out riding.  Seems like over the years it should have happened at least once, right?  Or maybe I should start getting on my friends to set me up — they’ve got to have at least ONE available single friend, right? (except the answer to that is — and has been — “NO” … “and stop asking!!”)

Any other suggestions?

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4 responses to “Where, oh where …

  1. Fabulous Mommy

    I must confess I had to google muumuu, my reaction went something like this…
    Ack! That’s gawd awful…ie my eyes, my eyes, I think my retinas are melt….aaaaaaaaa!
    Ok maybe I’m being melodramatic 😉
    What about hosting a bring a single (gorgeous dyke) friend dinner party. The GD doesn’t even have to be someone they know well but maybe you make a friend who introduces you to a whole new social circle?

    When you are single the only way to find someone is to network! Get out there and find something that might interest an older group than a club. Maybe even organise something that appeals to you like (who knows) a Jazz and sushi evening or something? Hell even a Friends themed coffee tasting at a place that is willing to change its name to Central Perk while a Phoebe look alike sings Smelly Cat. Even if just one woman arrives you know you are starting out on the right foot.

    XX
    Fabs

  2. No, no… not at all melodramatic. Even the SPELLING of it makes my eyes bleed a little…. 🙂

    I definitely need to network. My friend’s friends (did I get those apostrophes correct?? I’m horrible with possessives…) skew MUCH younger than me and I need to branch out and meet an entirely new set of lesbos. Not the easiest thing for me, but gotta get there… because while the saying goes that “it’s raining men”, the gay girls aren’t dropping from the sky in the same way, it seems. 🙂

    I do sometimes wish that we all were required to wear name tags declaring what we’re looking for (if indeed looking). Wouldn’t that make things so much easier?

    • Fabulous Mommy

      I once read somewhere that a lesbian bar is a room full of women standing around the dance floor waiting for someone to ask them to dance. I decided I would ask someone to dance and 5 years later we are married with beautiful twin boys.

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